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Valley News Dispatch

Monroeville man crowned Pittsburgh’s ‘ultimate zombie’ at ScareHouse

Kellen Stepler
By Kellen Stepler
3 Min Read Aug. 28, 2023 | 2 years Ago
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Pittsburgh Mills mall went to the zombies Monday night.

As they moaned, groaned and shambled their way through the ScareHouse — the Frazer mall’s former H&M store — a panel of local celebrity judges examined the three contestants’ acting and their wardrobes, ultimately crowning Jarrod Joos, 32, of Monroeville, Pittsburgh’s “ultimate zombie.”

Joos, dressed as a doctor zombie, said he had no real inspiration for his act, but did take some notes from TV series “The Walking Dead.” He was silent as he began the audition and was staring aimlessly at the ceiling before he lunged toward the judge’s table with a jump scare.

“I started out real quiet … the quiet lures them in,” Joos said.

The contest brought Joos, Jess Uhler, 32, of Clairton and Emmie White, 26, of Tarentum into a room at the ScareHouse as they auditioned individually on their ability to look undead, shamble, groan and feed.

Judges included longtime former WTAE-TV anchor Sally Wiggin, influencer and creator of EEEEK! Creature Coffee Christalee Lema, TikTok star Brandon Max and ScareHouse’s own Zombie Barbie.

“I just want people to make me laugh. That is my No. 1 thing — make me laugh,” Lema said.

Lema also paid special attention to the zombies’ makeup. Lema worked for ScareHouse for 10 years, she said, and has a background in special effects makeup.

Max said he was most looking forward to the contestants’ talent and creativity.

White dressed as zombie waitstaff at a restaurant. The costume was complete with red acrylic paint as blood.

“I just looked at all my clothes and said, ‘What do I want to put blood on?’ ” White said.

A white tanktop was used as a dust rag to make it dirty. “It did very little to clean the porch, but it did a lot to get the shirt dirty,” White said.

The key to the perfect shamble, White said, is to walk with one foot and drag the other.

Uhler said her strategy was to “freak them out,” and start slow, and unassuming.

“Distraction is key,” she said.

ScareHouse has called the Mills mall home since 2020, after previously operating a location in Etna. Co-owner Scott Simmons said the business loved operating out of Etna, but more parking was required, and the Mills mall was a perfect fit.

He said township officials and locals have been supportive of ScareHouse. But the irony of operating at the Mills — referred to by some as being a “dead mall” due to its lack of stores — wasn’t lost on Simmons.

“It’s a weird experience. It’s a weird dead mall. Let’s have some fun,” Simmons said.

ScareHouse opens for the season Sept. 8.

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About the Writers

Kellen Stepler is a TribLive reporter covering the Allegheny Valley and Burrell school districts and surrounding areas. He joined the Trib in April 2023. He can be reached at kstepler@triblive.com.

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