Mom retaliates after son quits college to pursue a trade
Dear Carolyn: My 19-year-old son who just graduated high school has suddenly decided he doesn’t want to go to college. He wants to sweat and work hard, learning the electrical trade his father does for a living. He worked hard in high school and was accepted into an elite health...
Husband prioritizes his training schedule over his wife’s health
Hi, Carolyn: My husband and I have three kids, 10, 8 and 1 (who was a surprise but is such a blessing). I gained a lot of weight in this last pregnancy. I am in my 40s and had a hard time with my pregnancy emotionally. My husband dismissed all...
Son asks his mom to stay in a hotel, she’s not having it
Dear Carolyn: I’m a 70-year-old mom of a 35-year-old, newly married son, my only child. What are your thoughts about his telling me that if I visit them, I need to stay in a hotel? I would only visit if invited of course. I visited him before and stayed in...
Husband will only get off the couch for his guy friends
Dear Carolyn: Before we married, my husband and I enjoyed doing fun stuff together. Now, he just wants to watch TV or play video games. When he does leave the couch, it’s to play poker or basketball with his guy friends. He NEVER helps me around the house unless I’ve...
Cousin doesn’t know she’s a sperm-donor child
Dear Carolyn: My mother conceived both my brother and me using a sperm donor. This information was never kept from us, and my mother has spoken openly about it throughout our lives. My stepdad adopted us. Recently, I was discussing taking an ancestry test and my mother revealed to me...
Son, daughter-in-law reject ‘circus-like’ family gatherings
Dear Carolyn: My oldest son has informed me he is finished with family gatherings “like a circus” and only wants to visit my husband and me in the future. The “circus” consists of his two brothers, their wives and one granddaughter. The excuse is that he and his wife have...
Supporting a partner veering off course
Hi Carolyn: My partner completed an undergraduate degree but struggled to find a career in that industry. Under pressure from family, they followed and struggled through a career path they hated for two years before deciding to go back to college to complete another undergraduate in something they thought they...
Grandparents think kids’ food allergies are made up
Dear Carolyn: My children have serious food allergies. I have had difficulty educating and bringing my in-laws on board with our way of managing their food choices. I recently found out from my sister-in-law that my in-laws have been saying they think I am making up my children’s allergies. I...
Should I change my locks after an acrimonious breakup?
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I am in the midst of an acrimonious breakup after a 13-year relationship, but not marriage. He is living in his new apartment, but he has not moved out — he still has keys to our/my house, which I owned prior to...
Daughter’s ex confronted her with photo of new boyfriend
Dear Carolyn: My daughter recently ended a five-year relationship with no marriage involved. She has moved on and now has a boyfriend. My daughter, her boyfriend, other family members and I attended a graduation ceremony. While sitting in a gymnasium waiting for the ceremony to start, my daughter pointed out...
Husband thinks it’s not ‘his problem’ to help with aging parents
Dear Carolyn: My husband, “John,” is the oldest of three children. His siblings, “Bill” and “Sue,” both live where they all were raised. Both parents are in declining health. Over the years, Sue has taken on the lion’s share of caring for them. She is a nurse, so a logical...
Should I ask my new boyfriend where our relationship is going?
Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Jan. 2, Jan. 5 and Feb. 27, 2005. Dear Carolyn: I have finally met a guy I really like. We have been seeing each other on and off for a couple of months. Should I ask where this relationship is going or...
Much-needed baby shower delayed by sister’s upcoming bridal shower
Dear Carolyn: As inappropriate as it feels to “need” a baby shower, my husband was just laid off and we, after several miscarriages, are finally expecting our first child in August. My successful, established, younger sister very recently announced her upcoming nuptials at the end of the summer. My mother...
No matter how many marriages, don’t stay in an abusive relationship
Dear Carolyn: I was married to my ex for 20 years when we divorced. I wasn’t attractive to him anymore since I gained weight with our three children — his exact words. I am now married to a woman. I have found myself on the receiving end of punches from...
My wife is secretive about her past life and relationships
Dear Carolyn: Is it odd when your spouse doesn’t want to share details about her life from before you met? I’ve been an open book about myself from the beginning and she has been rather secretive, even lying about previous relationships. She lets slip insights about previous experiences and when...
Beware of making big decisions because of temporary moods
Hello, Carolyn: How do you know a big decision is based on what you truly want vs. what you feel you want at the moment? There are low-stakes versions of this, such as dramatically cutting your hair after a breakup, but I think I’ve made a lot of my bigger...
How should I respond to people who pity me for not having kids?
Hi Carolyn: I was making small talk at a work function when a woman asked if I had children. I said no. She expressed pity that I hadn’t experienced life’s greatest joy and said she couldn’t understand why women these days prioritize careers over family. She added that parenthood is...
I’m all alone and dealing with friends’ envy
Dear Carolyn: I’m single, educated, retired, own a beautiful home in a unique location, am involved in creative pursuits and travel quite a lot. What I don’t have is a spouse or children. I am estranged from my siblings because they are mentally ill — the mean variety who purposely...
I’m mad my sister invited her stepson’s ex-wife to family reunion
Dear Carolyn: I am the middle sister of three. My older sister suggested we have a family reunion, and we decided we would have it at my house. We also decided to make one day a surprise celebration of the youngest sister’s retirement. There will be approximately 16 people, including...
Concerned my granddaughter will be messy like my daughter
Dear Carolyn: I baby-sit my 2-year-old granddaughter at her house one day a week while my daughter works from home. Their living room floor is always filled with toys and books. Nothing ever is put away. It was always a struggle when my daughter was young to get her to...
Dealing with a girlfriend’s punitive behavior
Hi, Carolyn: I am in a long-distance relationship and I recently had a birthday. My fiancee is working overseas, and on my birthday, she never got to wish me a happy birthday. She knew the date and didn’t forget. When I asked her about it, she claimed she was angry...
How do I handle my jealous girlfriend?
Dear Carolyn: I’ve been with my girlfriend only six months, but I felt like I could see years into the future with her. She’s recently become very jealous and untrusting of me, though. An ex of mine from college was coming to town for work and wanted to get together...
How do I move on from a 13-year relationship?
Dear Carolyn: As a child, I lived through my parent’s horrible, physically violent, 10-year divorce. I remember standing in the kitchen at 12 years old, promising myself I would never divorce. So, here I am, 51, my 13-year relationship broken up. We never married, as it helped me keep my...
Gay grandson navigating tension with boyfriend about grandma
Dear Carolyn: I am gay, and my grandma has always been totally supportive of me, even though she grew up in a conservative time and place and I was the first openly gay person she’d ever met. She sometimes asks me questions that sound clueless, but in a sweet way...
I’m an abusive partner … I need help!
Dear Carolyn: I’m a mess. I’ve been with my partner for over four years and I’ve been emotionally abusive in the way that I keep breaking up with her and then getting back together just to break up again. I think I’ve done it at least 10 times, starting around...
